buttononthetop | Fic: Beautiful Boy (Part 1)

Title: Beautiful Boy (Part 1)
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: Adult
Spoilers: Mild thru Fragments
Summary: Far Future Fic - Ianto has been ill...
Notes: This is my first fic of any kind so I welcome any and all comments, con/crit, advice, suggestions to jump off a bridge, etc. :)

“Ianto!” Jack yelled as always, slamming the front door behind him.

He tossed his keys at the bowl on the side table, missing as always. “Ian-TO!” he called again as he dropped his greatcoat on one of the chairs before sprinting up the stairs. He came to a sudden halt, however, when he reached his goal. It was as if he’d hit an invisible wall inches away from the door to the bedroom he’d shared with Ianto for over half-a-century. He paused, breathing hard, hand still reaching for the doorknob. His shoulders slumped forward and his head sank to his chest; for a moment he was the picture of anguish. But only for a moment. He took a deep breath and continued into the room.

Ianto looked up from the bed where he sat to smile at Jack before returning to his diary. Jack was pleased to see that Ianto had some color back in his face and that all the monitors were turned off and pushed into a corner. It appeared he was still hooked up to an IV, but that was a vast improvement over the last few weeks. He walked to the bed slowly, noting the painful way Ianto’s still beautiful hand had to bend to hold the pen steady now, and then tried to think of something else.

Ianto finished what he was writing, capped the old-fashioned ink pen he still insisted on using, and set the book on the nightstand. He smiled again at Jack and said, “What are you doing home at this hour? It’s not even lunchtime.”

Jack grinned as he kicked off his boots and climbed onto the bed beside his lover. “Well, Yukiko reported that you were doing much better this morning so I told her to hold down the fort and gave myself the day off. I’ve missed you,” he said, curling himself around Ianto and placing a gentle kiss on his forehead.

Ianto chuckled as he snuggled into Jack’s chest, “You’ve seen me every day for God knows how many years now.”

“But you’ve been ill,” Jack protested. “Seeing you for ten minutes here and there and being barred from the room by pushy young lady doctors does NOT count.”

“Yuki is not pushy, Jack. And she’s a phenomenal doctor. Look how much better I am n-” Ianto was suddenly racked with a violent coughing fit.

Jack reached over him for the glass of water that always sat on the bedside table and then waited, holding Ianto’s shaking body, pain suffusing his face. When he stopped coughing, Jack tilted the glass to his lips. Ianto drank a few swallows and then grasped the glass with shaking hands. “Thank you, but I don’t fancy sitting around in damp sheets all day.”

“Hey, I only spilled it once!”

“Once was enough. I’ve just gotten past a bout of pneumonia and I’d not like to repeat it.”

Jack’s face stilled and he held Ianto close again.

Ianto sighed, “I’m sorry, Jack. I didn’t mean-“

“No, it’s fine,” Jack said, smoothing his hand through Ianto’s snow-white hair and laying a trail of kisses along his cheekbone. “It’s fine. You’re getting better and everything is fine. It’s fine,” he whispered fiercely.

They sat quietly for a few moments just holding one another, neither one wanting to acknowledge the shadow that hung over the room.

Ianto broke the silence first, his voice low and almost gruff with emotion. “Do you know what today is, Jack?”

“Tuesday?” Jack teased.

“Bastard. No, it’s an anniversary of sorts.”

“Really? Of what?”

“It was 63 years ago today that you hired me.”

Jack thought for a second and then said, “Good God, you’re right. Wow…” He was silent again and then confessed, “Do you have any idea how bad I wanted to kiss you that day?”

Ianto laughed, “Yes.”

Jack pulled his head back to look at the man in his arms, “You did?”

Ianto reached up to stroke Jack’s smooth cheek. “Of course I did…sir.” Jack shivered at the old moniker. “I was lying on top of you, if you remember.”

“Oh yeah, I remember,” Jack purred as he lowered his mouth to capture Ianto’s lips in a gentle kiss. He started to pull back but Ianto moaned and tugged on Jack’s shirt until he lowered his head again. Jack leaned in, softly pressing their lips together. When Ianto whimpered again, Jack gave in and deepened the kiss, pushing Ianto back into the pillows. He covered the frail body with his strong one, sliding his mouth over his lover’s, teasing his tongue over soft lips and groaning when Ianto yielded to him.

Jack murmured, “Yan…” caressing his cheek, tangling his tongue with Ianto’s, teasing along his palette and teeth, pouring every drop of passion he could into the kiss. Ianto moaned under Jack’s touch, fisting Jack’s shirt in his hands and kissing him back with all his strength.

When they were both thoroughly out of breath they broke apart, but only far enough to gasp for some much need oxygen. Jack lay on top of Ianto, his forehead pressed to the other man’s, savoring the feeling of Ianto’s breath against his cheek. His hands were still idly stroking Ianto’s face and neck. Ianto turned slightly to kiss Jack’s palm and looked up at him with eyes still as blue as that day 63 years ago.

“You know, I almost killed myself that night,” Ianto stated matter-of-factly.

“What?” Jack was startled, straightening his arms to look at Ianto.

“Yeah, I did.” He nudged Jack over on to his side and rolled to face him. “You see, once you said yes all my plans for Lisa stopped being just plans. I had to DO something now. I was so sure you would turn me down that I gave myself that one last chance. I told myself that if you said no after I found Myfawny then that was it. I would just tell Lisa that there was nothing else we could do and…and…we’d figure it out from there. But in that warehouse,” Ianto reached out for Jack’s hand and held it tight against his chest. “You were so…I don’t know…JACK,” he chuckled. “For a moment I let myself forget everything else and just being with you in that moment, I was so happy. But then, I remembered Lisa and I remembered the plans. And then you said yes.” Ianto sighed, closing his eyes. “I went home to my shithole apartment and listened to Lisa crying in the next room. I was getting her morphine ready and I just kept drawing it out of the bottle, filled the syringe completely. I didn’t even realize I’d done it until it was full. And then I just looked at it. That much morphine would have killed anyone. And it would be so easy. For a second I thought about giving it to Lisa and starting at Torchwood with a clear conscience, but I knew I could never live with myself. But I also knew what the plans would mean – what I would have to do, to say, to be. And I was so scared that I actually rolled up my sleeve and had the needle in my vein before I could think.”

“What stopped you?” Jack asked quietly.

Ianto opened his eyes. “You. Somehow I knew that no matter what happened, any time I got to spend with you would make it worthwhile. And I was right.”

Jack, overcome, couldn’t speak and just squeezed Ianto’s hand gently. He noticed a flicker of pain in Ianto’s eyes and asked, “Are your hands bothering you today?”

“Just a bit. I’ve been writing more than usual, trying to get it all down.”

“C’mere” Jack whispered, sitting up against the pillows. He maneuvered them so that Ianto was sitting between his legs, leaning back against his chest. Jack took one of Ianto’s hands between his and began a soothing massage. Rubbing up and down each long finger, stretching them slightly, paying gentle attention to the swollen knuckles, Jack finished by kissing each finger. Ianto sighed with pleasure and laid his pale hands on top of Jack’s browned ones.

“Thank you,” he murmured, still looking at their hands. Jack interlaced their fingers, trying to distract Ianto from his contemplation, but something had disturbed him. The quiet clink of their rings was missing. “My ring! Where’s my ring, Jack?” Ianto loosed his hands from Jack and scrabbled around in the bedcovers. “I never take it off! Where is it?”

Jack grabbed Ianto’s flailing hands and tried to calm him, “Wait, wait. Think for a minute. I know you had it on yesterday. Did you do anything where you might have taken it off for a second?”

Ianto tried to remember. Why was Lisa’s face so clear all of a sudden and that morning so fuzzy? Yuki had woken him up on her way to the hub. She wanted to see how he was responding to the new drugs she’d given him and she had a little handheld scanner that she’d used. She was very excited about it and kept explaining bits of it to him. He had teased her about sounding exactly like her grandmother and…and… “Jack, Yuki made me take it off. Something about the scanner not liking metal.”

“Well, then it’s probably over here somewhere,” Jack reassured him. He reached over to the nightstand, shuffling through the items. He found the silver band under Ianto’s diary. “Here you go,” he said, sliding the ring onto Ianto’s third finger, just as he had all those years ago.

“Thank you,” Ianto breathed as he sank back against Jack. He held his left hand to his chest, rubbing the band compulsively. Jack’s arms encircled him, holding him tight. “Jack?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you have to go anywhere for a while?”

“Nope. You got me all day and all night, if you want me,” he teased.

“I always want you, it’s like a curse.”

“Hey!”

“Just kidding,” Ianto said. “I just really want to sleep with you. I’m so tired all the time, I never sleep well without you and you’ve been in the other room for weeks and I just want to have you here with me while I sleep for a bit,” he finished.

Jack smiled. “Sounds like heaven. Let me just get rid of some of these clothes,” he said, sliding out from behind Ianto.

Ianto watched his lover undress with hungry eyes. He’d never tired of Jack’s body even after he’d memorized every inch of his skin. Jack noticed his stare and started to move more slowly, turning his undressing into a strip tease. He slid his braces down over one shoulder, then the other and then slowly ran his hand up his chest to start unbuttoning his shirt. Each button took at least ten seconds and the cuffs even longer. He pulled the tails of his shirt out of his trousers one side at a time and then unhurriedly let it fall from his shoulders. He started to pull his t-shirt over his head, giving Ianto a quick glimpse of his gorgeously toned abdomen, and then changed his mind, pulling it back down. Grinning, he began to unfasten his trousers – lingering over the button, pulling the zip down at a leisurely pace – when they were loose, he let them just drop to the floor.

“Enough?” Jack asked, “or would you like to see more?”

Ianto threw a pillow at him.

“I’ll take that as a vote for more,” Jack laughed. He pulled his t-shirt over his head in one swift move and then his boxers and socks followed quickly. He stood before his lover for a moment, naked and glorious. As he stepped back to the foot of the bed, he said, “Ohhhh, Ianto, when you look at me like that?” He climbed onto the mattress and began to crawl up Ianto’s body, “you make me feel like a god.”

Ianto shuddered and held his arms out for Jack. “You are a god,” he whispered, folding his arms around Jack, holding him close. Jack smiled into Ianto’s neck and pulled the covers up over their bodies. Ianto shifted and twisted against Jack, trying to get comfortable but it just wasn’t working. “I need to feel your skin, Jack,” he muttered.

Jack sat up, throwing the covers back. He turned to Ianto and ran his hands down his lover’s chest. He grasped the bottom of Ianto’s loose grey t-shirt and slowly pushed it up his chest. He realized that Ianto’s IV was going to present a problem. Ianto was in favor of removing the damn thing altogether, but Jack managed to get the shirt over Ianto’s head and free arm and then simply pulled the shirt down his arm, up the IV line, finally tossing it over the stand. He crowed in triumph, returning to attack Ianto’s pajama bottoms. He tugged gently on the drawstring, pretending for a moment that it was knotted until he heard Ianto’s strangled, “Jaaack.” He chuckled and pulled the string free, dragging the striped cotton over Ianto’s hips, down his thighs and over his feet. Jack rested his warm hands on Ianto’s ankles, sliding them slowly up over his shins, tickling the backs of his knees, massaging the muscles in his thighs, curving his fingers over sharp hip bones.

Ianto lay breathless beneath him as Jack paused to wrap his arms around his waist, resting his head for a moment on Ianto’s belly. Jack swallowed back the hot burn of tears and fought the surge of rage that always hit him when he saw what time had done to his beautiful boy. He buried his face against Ianto, breathing hard, trying to compose himself. Ianto, who knew exactly what Jack was feeling, ran his hands through his captain’s hair, fighting the urge to apologize again for getting old. He felt Jack sigh against his stomach and raise his head. Blue eyes met blue eyes and the same electricity and connection that they had always felt blazed between them stronger than ever.

“Come up here,” Ianto whispered. Jack immediately joined him on the pillow, wrapping his body around Ianto as he pressed soft kisses to his forehead, his cheeks, his eyes, his jaw and finally his mouth. They clung to each other, bodies entwined, as they delved into each other’s mouths, trying to get as close to one another as possible. Jack groaned as he felt his cock stir. He tried to pull away but Ianto wouldn’t let him go. “No Jack, let me feel you again. All of you. It’s been so long.” Jack sighed against Ianto’s mouth, feeling himself grow even harder at those words. He rotated his hips gently, sensing an echo of his arousal in Ianto.

“No, wait, stop!” Jack said, grinding his teeth in frustration as he held himself still. “The doctors said -”

“I don’t care what the bloody doctors said!” Ianto snapped. “Jack, please! I need this. I need to feel something other than sick and tired and old.” He cupped Jack’s face in his hands. “Don’t make me beg.”

“Yan…”

“Please, Jack?” Ianto’s eyes were swimming with tears. “I want to come with you one…” – he couldn’t bring himself to utter the word last – “…one more time. I want to hear you yell my name. I want to see your face. We don’t have to have sex, we can just – ”

“Yan, Yan, shhh, it’s ok, ok,” Jack soothed. He held Ianto against him, stroking his back. He reached between their bodies and arranged them a little more comfortably. “Move with me, baby,” he whispered.

Ianto made a noise halfway between a sob and a groan when Jack began to thrust against him. His eyes closed and his head fell back as he drowned in the delicious feel of Jack’s cock, hot and hard against his own. Jack took advantage of his position to kiss his way down Ianto’s neck, sucking gently at the spot where he could feel Ianto’s pulse beating steadily beneath his skin. Ianto grasped Jack’s shoulders and tried to push even harder into his body. Jack’s breath caught in his throat and Ianto opened his eyes.

Jack was trembling with the effort to hold back, to keep from hurting Ianto. A fine sheen of sweat covered his face and chest, his eyes had turned almost black with passion and his lower lip was caught between his teeth. He was magnificent. Ianto ran his fingers through Jack’s hair then pulled his face down to his own. “Wha?” Jack gasped. “Are you ok?”

Ianto nodded. “I just want to watch you,” he whispered. Jack grinned and kissed him.

They continued to move together, against each other, savoring the feel of skin on skin, the smooth satin heat of their cocks trapped between their bodies, their breaths mingling as mouths met and tongues tangled, the sound of breathless gasps.

It had been too long. Jack could feel his orgasm approaching embarrassingly early. He tried to focus on something else, to reign in his legendary control, but all he could do was watch Ianto’s face and the knowledge of the pleasure he was giving the other man had him completely undone. “God…Ianto!” he cried out, struggling to hold back.

“Yes, Jack, come for me, say my name,” Ianto purred.

“Ianto! God…I…I love you, God…Ianto!” Jack roared as he exploded between them.

Ianto smiled, then captured Jack’s mouth in a fiery kiss. Jack panted into Ianto’s mouth, kissing and moaning his way down from his climax. When his head had cleared, Jack pulled back far enough to slide his hand between their bodies. He wrapped his strong fingers around Ianto’s cock and gently began to stroke up and down the shaft. Ianto shuddered against Jack’s body. “Harder,” he whispered.

Jack worriedly listened to Ianto’s harsh breathing which had gotten worse over the last few moments. “Are you sure? You’re OK?”

Ianto met his eyes, “Jack, please!” Understanding his lover’s need, Jack gripped Ianto’s cock and increased the pressure, twisting his hand in a way that he knew drove Ianto insane. He dropped his mouth to Ianto’s neck again, kissing his way up to the sensitive skin behind his ear. He was just about to slide down to replace his hand with his mouth when he felt Ianto’s body start to tense. He doubled his efforts, driving him to the edge as quickly as he could. “Oh God Jack!” He looked down into Ianto’s face and watched as he came, flushed and panting, Jack’s name on his lips, beautiful.

Jack quickly wrapped both arms around Ianto again, holding him close. With tears in his eyes, he listened to Ianto struggling to catch his breath but knew better than to ask if he was ok again. Jack just held him, rocking gently. Finally, Ianto’s breathing slowed and he relaxed into Jack. He felt boneless and mindless and the million other wonderful feelings that always followed being with Jack. He caressed Jack’s shoulder, Jack’s back, Jack’s neck, buried his hand in Jack’s dark hair. He felt another coughing attack looming, but refused to give in as long as he could, wanting to hold Jack as long as possible. He tried holding his breath for a moment, but Jack felt it immediately and pulled away to see what was wrong. In answer to the questioning look, Ianto just shook his head and sat up, covering his mouth as his body was wracked with coughs. He waved away Jack’s attempts to help, so the other man took the chance to grab a damp washcloth.

Jack stood for a moment in the bathroom, listening to Ianto fighting to breathe. He dropped his face into the cloth, hoping it would muffle the few brief sobs that were wrenched from him. He wiped his face and cleaned off his chest. He rinsed the cloth and went back to the bedroom.

Ianto was leaning back against the pillows, the glass of water held loosely in his hand. He looked utterly exhausted. Jack hurried to the bed, softly smoothing the cloth over Ianto’s chest and stomach. Ianto opened his eyes and smiled briefly at Jack. “Thanks,” he whispered hoarsely.

“Oh God, Ianto, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have – ”

“No, no, no. No regrets,” Ianto said. “Wasn’t that always our agreement?” He threaded his fingers through Jack’s hair. “I wanted you. Always want you…” His hand slipped to Jack’s shoulder as his eyes closed.

TBC